Relationships, Positivity, and Productivity with Hannah Roark

Hannah thank you so much for taking the time to come and sit and chat with me I so appreciate it yes I'm excited yes me too um so first things first I know you've listened to some of the episodes so you know it's coming but what is one thing you're grateful for right now honestly my team at work um I know it's kind of cliche but we spend a lot of our time there um so I actually was just talking to you about this to have somebody who's willing to check in see how your day is going kind of like offer to balance things out where you need you know everybody has those days where you're not on top of your game and you need a little bit of support and balance um so grateful for that today I love that well and my whole thing with cliches too cuz you said I know it's cliche but I'm like cliche things are cliche for a reason like I'm going to move this just to smidge closer perfect um because it's true like you do spend so much time there especially with a 9 to-5 job like if the people you're surrounding yourself with aren't lifting you up aren't actively helping you be the person you want to be like work could be a huge drag yes absolutely I mean you spend what half of your time there yeah know a third of your time there really I guess depending on your job so really it has to be a team that you want to spend time with and something you enjoy doing the other third is sleeping so it's like well and I think everyone not everyone but most people have a pretty good grasp on like choosing to surround yourself with people who lift you up means choosing good friends right and that whole thing but it's like no it's also like your team at work it's also your family and people that you don't think that you have a choice who to engage with but like everything is a choice when it comes down to it yes that is like the most important decision I think you make in life is who you choose to spend your time around really yes why would you say that not that I agree I just want to hear more so I feel like you know me I'm a busy body um I'm always going but I think one thing that I'm very intentional about is like where am I spending my time who am I spending it with who am I surrounding myself with that's like filling me up and I'm filling them up in return um and that kind of just like keeps you moving forward um you know we all have kind of our limit in this life why spend our time around people who are like draining um you know there's a time and place for that like sometimes people need to be picked up and you can kind of help push them forward but um yeah that's kind of how I guide my days and my time at least I think that's great cuz also I think that that speaks to how important um connection is for our lives too because it's like if spending your time with other people wasn't the most important thing that it's like well why not spend every single day alone and doing whatever you want it's like because that is not an effective or productive or happy healthy way to live your life so being intentional about who you spend time with I think is super important oh yeah next question that you also know is coming but whatever strikes you to share in this moment no pressure however you want to answer it is perfect what is your story okay so I am from Midlothian Texas um which has quickly evolved into a suburb of Dallas uh for those listening who aren't from the area um so I have I guess a pretty big family but um I think one thing that kind of defines me is my parents split when I was young which I kind of see as a blessing um might be an odd thing to say but um I have you know two stepparents who uh some would refer to as bonus parents I think somebody mentioned that me mentioned that to me when I was a kid and it kind of has stuck with me through my whole life yeah um and I have two baby brothers who are now 10 and 13 so not necessarily babies anymore but they're mine anyways they're your babies yeah um and an older brother as well so family is very important to me I think that's one thing that's like shaped me throughout my life is kind of incorporating different people as I've grown and learning different personalities um so yeah I went to SMU um for college I do change management consulting now um so obviously spend a lot of time there like we talked about earlier um but I love it I get to you know support a lot of people through huge changes I mean you know you're spending all day at work so when something comes at you that's like whoa this is going to be a big change to my daily life like my job is to come in and help get people through that which is really valuable to me so well and I'm sure to the people you help too because as someone who hates change it's like I know that if I have a big life change it'll throw me off my schedule for at least a month like two weeks on either side of that change right where you're spending time preparing for it or being anxious about it and then another two weeks like settling into it and it's like each singular person and that company that's making that huge change is going through that so you doing what you do is actually helping those people's daily lives in a really real way yeah and that's kind of something that I've learned I mean I knew this about myself already I ALS also hate change um which is funny because I manage it for a living but um one thing I've learned throughout work is no one likes change you get used to what you're doing you set your life up in a certain way for a reason most of the time um so when that gets shifted it kind of like jars you and you have to figure out like what where do I go from here yeah um so that that's something that I have to get used to in my personal life as well much like you you know anytime a change happens you kind of have to like change everything about the way you function which is not to say that it's not good or doesn't teach us lessons or isn't helpful and beneficial and all those things that change brings too but yes I relate to it um so if I can ask why do you say that um your parents splitting when you were little was a blessing so I mean I think that that those kind of things happen for a reason you know like all I want for my parents is for them to be happy right so for me it's a happy moment because they both have found their people that they love and you know have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with um but also my stepparents have been like some of the biggest blessings in my life and my my brothers as well um so like I've had the opportunity to grow with them um yeah I think that's just such a mature Outlook but I'm so sorry I cut you off you're so good um but yeah I mean like my little brothers for one uh my my 13-year-old brother when he was little used to call me Minnie Mommy and so I've always thought that was so cute and special um but yeah I just have always enjoyed like getting to spend time with them seeing life through their eyes as children as well has been so special um and also just has grown my love for children I've know I've told you this before but I've always felt like I was born to be a mom um and other things along with that but one of the roles I want to play in life so that kind of gave me the opportunity very young to like learn what that's actually like not all the way you know I don't know it's like to be a mom I haven't been there yet um but I got to see a glimpse into what the routine is every day what's hard about being a mom what's fun about being a mom through my mom's eyes and my stepmom's eyes yeah well really step into the at least like nurturing role right yes I think motherhood is such an interesting concept for all women because especially right now like there's so much more freedom for women now more than ever to craft our lives however we want to um so being able to choose motherhood or to not I think is one so powerful um and for you to be like yes this is something I really want to do is so empowering and I love that for you I think also um there's a lot of ways that all women step in into that feeling of motherhood without actually being like Mom right without like either having to adopt a child or give birth to a child like you can still be that like mothering figure for a lot of people and things which I think your experience so speaks to mhm that I mean you know nannying I nannied for three different families throughout undergrad and grad school um and those three families were big parts of my life and my development as well and I still adore all of those kids KS um so yeah I mean you can play a role however you want I think there's all kinds of opportunities cuz you know some people aren't um able to have children and you know adopt or you know everybody's family is different um in a special way so I love that yeah I think that's wonderful and finding the way that like everyone is gifted like certain things and skill sets and finding how you get to embody those through your life is like part of the joy of it too and how you said it's about connecting with other people I'm like the relationship to a mom or a mothering figure is one of the deepest connections anyone can ever have so I can so see why that is something that you feel drawn to absolutely without like planning it too much you know you have the cards that you're dealt in life and you get to figure out what you do with them so I've kind of growing up I was always a woman with a plan I knew what I was going to do every hour I think my life is still kind of that way but you always have to roll with the low and just go where life takes you you know they say like uh humans plan God laughs so true so I feel like I have ideas of things that I want to be and do in life but I don't necessarily like ground myself to them I think you kind of just figure it out as you go and um pivot when you need to I love that so tell me more about that experience because that's something that I really struggle with is oh I have this plan I have this thing that this is how I imagine this going this is The Benchmark that I want to hit these are the boxes I want to check when life does throw you a curveball and you do have to Pivot because inevitably you can plan for a million different variations of something what ends up happening is going to be something different than any one of those undoubtedly so what are ways that you find yourself pivoting and grappling with that change in your own life so I kind of think of it as like you're not going to take a bunch of bro broken pieces and try to Mush them back together right so something breaks or a plan doesn't go how you expected you kind of just have to make it work um you know pivot your plan and go with it so I like to think every day like how can I make today good even if it doesn't start well what can I do today to boost my mood make someone else around me smile you know pick up the Mojo sometimes you need that you know um so I think if I have a plan and it doesn't go well I'm like okay what other plan can I make it's not how can I fix that plan because sometimes the plans aren't meant to come together right um and you kind of just have to to go with it and figure out where to go from there I think um there have been a lot of moments in my life where I'm kind of like where am I going what am I doing what do I want to do for a living what kind where do I want to live um what do I want my friends and Community to look like um especially I think at the age that we're at we're you know kind of in that space where we're still figuring out who we want to be and what we want to do no one hasn't figured out so you kind of just have to try things figure out what you like figure out what you don't and move forward absolutely well in I think that's such a positive outlook on change too to say yes it is something that I thought was going to happen leaving like there is a certain amount of like grief that that sounds like a dramatic word to use but for in whatever measure for losing something that you thought might happen but it is also an opportunity to try something new to get to see okay well how could it be even better because it's a chance to try something different like that is such a beautiful Outlook and one thing talking about this like wonderful positive outlook you have o you all good that I want to ask you about too is obviously seeing your parents split is a huge change but knowing that you have such this um inclination towards connecting with other people when you were talking about that I felt like you had such a unique approach to saying well I got to go through that with them and it's actually a way that it brought you all closer together and it probably at least correct me if I'm wrong but it sounded like it made you understand your parents as human beings and not just as like these Godlike figures that we think of when we're little right it's like my parents are perfect they can do no wrong and so getting to have that experience of like oh they're humans too and this gets to help us grow together and so you kind of have that relation to them as a kid but also as a peer but then now you're also getting that with your younger siblings where you're kind of looking down on them and they're growing with you too in the same sense that like eventually they're going to have a realization where it's like oh big sister Hannah's also just a human being but we get to grow together too isn't that interesting I think everybody has that moment where they realize oh like my mom is also just a human woman like me you know um I said that to my brother a few weeks ago and he was like I don't know what you're talking about I haven't experienced that but um I think most people have that s where you grow up and you're like my parents are flawless and when am I going to be an adult someday and never sad yeah and they can relate to your experiences I actually um my mom and I just went on a weekend trip together a few weeks ago for her 50th birthday um it was very special uh but we had a lot of conversations that we probably wouldn't have had when I was in Middle School or high school because it's still in that mode where you know your parents aren't necessarily meant to be your friends they're Meant To Be Your Role Models and you know teach you discipline and respect and my mom and I are at the point where now we're friends and she respects my decisions as an adult she's still going to give me her advice and yeah of course um you know she's still my mom um so but yeah it it was just really special we had a lot of very deep conversations and kind of a different experience than we would if we were to go on a trip together as kids what was that realization like when you were like oh this is now a obviously you're never quite friends with your parents cuz it's just such a different relationship to be a child or a parent than a friend but what was that realization like when you were like oh I now can see myself as a peer with my parents do you remember when you realized that I don't honestly I think it kind of flipped once I got through college and was on my own and my mom would you know share stories about oh well was when I was in your shoes like this is kind of what I went through and you you start realizing like you think of your parents as these perfect people and you kind of look down on yourself for the mistakes that you make of like oh my parents would be so disappointed in me or whatever the case and you start realizing like no they went through this too and there's someone that you can share that story with and they can give you support versus the flip side where it's like oh I can't believe you did that I'm so disappointed in you like your parents they should at least be supportive of you as a person and try to help you get through it versus you know the alternative right when granted not everyone's lucky enough to have parents that do that unfortunately but it's wonderful when that does happen and you get to have that moment of I am sharing my story with you but also you helped me write this story for myself um the other day I was arguing with my dad about something that he was like that just makes me so worried for you and nervous for you and um of course it was out of like love and wanting to protect the things and I was like well but here's the thing you don't even have to trust me you have to trust the values you instilled me with yes like you have to trust your own created this issue yeah so if you're worried like where did it come from right which no of course not my my dad trust me deeply but it was just one of those moments where for me I was like wa like there really is so much of my parents in me and so much of me not to see the ways that I can actually help my parents grow too like I love that you used the word story that like you can share your story with them because what is connecting with people if not living your story together if not writing like The Story of Us telling this podcast together right it's like it is kind of this joint storytelling experience um so to continue on a little bit more of what you were talking about earlier cuz I kind of pointed us back and now I'll jump forward a little bit more what have you learned from your parents that makes you excited to one day hopefully potentially be a parent oh that's a really deep good question um so my parents have always been supportive of like whatever you want to do you can do it so I always felt growing up like I was special and I'm destined to do something great and now as you are and yes you are now as an adult I'm like you know everyone should feel that way when they're growing up and and have someone encouraging them and telling them like no whatever you work hard at and set your mind to like you can do that um and now as an adult that's something that I have to tell myself every day because sometimes you wake up and you're like oh I have to go to work or whatever it is that you don't really feel like doing that day right um so I think to answer the second part of your question like my parents instilled that in me and brought me up there that way so much that like I'm so excited to have kids and be able to do that for them like put them not put them on a pedestal but encourage them every day and make them feel special and like yeah grow them into World Changers to to bring in another clich you know no that like gave me goosebumps because that is something that I can so relate to in the sense that if anything my parents taught me it was that I can do anything I want to do that like if you work hard enough and put your focus in and like do do it right it is that like uh old like grind nose to the grindstone kind of motivation which of course there's also the lessons of like slowing down and taking care of yourself too but certainly instilling all of this of like no you are special and you are capable yes um and for me growing up that was never a doubt that I had in my mind that oh no I will be able to change the world and I remember as I got older realizing that other people didn't feel that same way and being like that's really sad you can you can and so knowing that that is something that you already have in your mind for like a future generation of kids to be able to grow up with even if it's just like one kid you have or like yeah whoever you know you make an impact on that gets to feel that that is beautiful and lovely that you have that well an not as you were saying that it made me think um not even just children like there's so many people our age or older who still don't know that about themselves that if they put the work in if they put the time in if they're intentional about the things that they do it's not always going to happen for you you know there luck involved with yeah there there is absolutely luck um but I think more adults need encouragement too and need to hear that from their friends and as we were talking about earlier like we're made to be in community and have people surrounding us to encourage us and push us forward um so I think every day one thing I need to be better about too is not like the mindset of oh I'm going to work today it's like no I'm I'm going to work today but I'm also surrounded by all of these people that I have the opportunity to have relationship with um and you know kind of like build something in that way as well like positive and it's not just okay what do we need to get done in this call it's hey how are you doing today no like actually how are you doing today what an amazing like shift in mindset because I think it's so easy for so many people um when they're like okay I am going to start changing the way I live my life I'm going to be more intentional I'm going to be more motivated I'm going to get inspired it tends to be such a centered Focus thing where it's like how can I help myself feel more inspired more motivated indulge or not indulge but like incorporate self-care like all of those great wonderful things but to also add in this piece or even make it the focal point of this of well one of the ways that I can do that is actually by focusing that energy on other people cuz of course that's going to make you feel better there's that article and like that's old old old but science proves that like if you are feeling super down in the dumps like helping someone else is the number one way to boost your mood they did a study that was like people with severe um depression or other mental health um struggles before helping like volunteering for a day and then after volunteering for a day yeah or people who like did some other like took a walk instead right which of course is still extremely beneficial but interfacing and engaging with someone can be like so revolutionary for yourself but also for those people around you so it's a win-win yes but we were talking about like things that you learn from your parents making you excited to be a parent instilling in people that they're special I think that also goes back to a little bit of what we were talking about earlier how um like nurturing and mothering can be something you do for everyone including like your fellow human beings right that like you get to go into work and like help other people so I think that is such a beautiful Outlook and what is it when you do have like a rough morning but you're like no I'm going in I'm going to I'm I have this opportunity with these people to be the best version of myself right what do you do to try and put yourself in that mindset that's the hardest part I think um so I am a firm believer if you look good you feel good so the hard days are where I will legitimately go in the closet like what am I going to wear today pick out a cute outfit and you know me I'm not a huge like fashionista kind of gy but you're not not though we're we're in the middle of the road say that um so those are the days when I'm like I need a good outfit I'm putting makeup on I'm fixing my hair I'm going to the office because if I sit at home I will not hold it together you know yes so it's like that kind of forces you out of your bubble to like show up for people be present um I also think when you're in moods like that it's hard to work from home because you can kind of like hide you know you're not having to be as productive as you would have to be in the office when you're around people um so I think that's one thing is being present in person getting ready um having the right mindset so I think negativity is kind of a a snowball effect so someone told me a stat a while back that the thoughts that you have today 80 or 90% of them repeat tomorrow interesting I'm probably not getting the percentage correct so we can look it up yeah um so if you're thinking negative thoughts today most of those thoughts will repeat tomorrow that is so interesting um and then the stat also had something around it of like what percentage of people's thoughts every day are typically negative like I'm tired or you know whatever the case um so one thing I try to do is when I notice myself thinking something negative I'm like okay how can I flip this around there's always like my favorite thing is Silver Linings and I try to be mindful of that when somebody's like venting to me because I'll always jump to the Silver Lining and sometimes people don't want the Silver Lining they list but the good thing is and they're like just tell me it sucks you're right yes I know sometimes it just needs to be I'm so sorry like and just let them keep going um but that's how I talk to myself is like okay this is happening but like what good can I find in that um so the like days like today to be honest with you I woke up and I was like okay where are my Silver Linings I made myself a good cup of coffee um I had quiet time I I read my book for 10 minutes that's all I needed I'm like okay I need get up and like I had a lot to do at work this morning like let's get going but first i'm going to have 10 minutes by myself to lay in bed be lazy for a second and read my book like get prepared well in the fact that that's only 10 minutes but it's still like communicating to your brain to your body to your mind to spirituality whatever that might look like for the listener whoever it's communicating to all of those higher levels of Who You Are that I am worth taking time for myself that we are recharging and refocusing and like we will be okay and that like calm still exists fun good things still exist like it really can be as little as 10 minutes that can flip that switch not to say that you know if someone is in the depths of something terrible that just 10 minutes and you'll be perfect like that's not what I'm trying to communicate at all but I think that's such a powerful story um or anecdote of the little ways that you can make every day not is monotonous and more rewarding oh yeah and it's the people around you too like you can't do it by yourself you know um so like I'm very lucky I'm dating one of the like sweetest angels on Earth we love him ha that I said that when he listens to this but you know like he came came home from work today and he just sat with me for 10 minutes like how are you what do you need how is your day let's talk um so like you need people to be there and like notice how you're doing and talk about it you know well and to know that you aren't alone in anything that happens right and I think that having people that do notice things without you having to ask for them sometimes is also so important as someone who struggles with asking for help like having those people around you that are like but how can I help like I can do this for you that's great not again not to say that you shouldn't ask for help when you need it that's something I'm working on too but and I could imagine because you have such a like bubbly vibrant energy that especially n Nicole and Sophie living with you I'm sure they notice like oh there's something's off in the vibe like what do you need there are certain times where it's like oh something's wrong but it's also interesting and I'm sure you can relate to this as well um because you get good at faking it yes um because you're also an extremely outgoing extrovert well I I don't know if you consider yourself an extrovert or not but you are an outgoing bubbly person um but it's really easy to hide behind that there's the whole all throughout High School one of my which it's almost sad to say this one of my mottos was fake it till you make it because I was like I will be the girl that always has a smile on her face I will be the girl that people can look at and seeing her smile will make me feel a little bit better or I'm never going to burden someone else with my problems because that's not fair to anyone else and everything is perfect and everything is good and I am good it's a lot of pressure on you right and it's like that is so toxic and not fair to myself and also not fair to other people that want to help and want to know who you really are but the fake it till you make it mentality gets so ingrained that it was like well even if I'm having like a decent okay or great day I'm still like turning the volume up just that little bit where it's like you just get good at doing that of just turning the volume up that sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it yeah and then like my lovely roommate Sophia Nicole or my parents cuz of course my mom is the best read on when I'm doing this She'll always call me to the carpet and she's like why are you what are you doing I'm like thank you for calling me out on that being a little more than normal today why is that well and it's so bad and in in just I'll call myself a fake [ __ ] because I'm like I really can be sometimes so another thing that I'm actively working on but having people who can see through that is so important yeah but sometimes that's not a bad thing like sometimes you just need to be silly and like it's so I do this sometimes and it's almost ironic I'll be having like such a bad mood day and I'm like you know know what I'm going to see all my friends in an hour like we got to get it together so I'll just start like dancing around like being a goofball and bren's just standing there like you're a little weird but okay moving along and sometimes it's just like you need it to pump you up and get out of like the negative head space that you're in and that speaks to how like moving your body can be so helpful to like get the blood flowing get like just juices up and moving like it just helps you get out of your head and into your body body so if you do need to feel something you can feel it but also it releases any of that tension that's being stored um one of my favorite books is fan Girl by rainbow Ralph um and in it the main character uh is like extremely introverted has a bunch of anxious Tendencies but her and her twin sister do this thing called emergency dance parties and I'm like that is such a good fun silly idea where it's like we've had a horrible day it's emergency dance party but that's exact what that is and I'm like that's it's brilliant I need to start doing dance parties by myself sometimes and isn't it funny like everybody kind of processes and copes in different ways so some people need that and some people just need to like lay in bed and cry and sometimes like you you need both yeah you need them at different times for different things absolutely there's a time and place for everything yes so one thing that I think is hard for me sometimes is being able to tell what time it is is it a dance party time is it a cry it out time is it a piece of chocolate time like what is it do you have any like techniques for being able to read or tune into yourself and how you're doing cuz I think sometimes life is so hectic and chaotic that you can just forget to check in with yourself is there ever a time that you have that and if so how do you tune back in uh I would say that I'm an overly introspective person so I'm always overthinking um so I would say I'm I'm usually aware of how I'm feeling I think um I was just telling someone the other day like anger is not a feeling that I ever felt like my whole life I okay keep talking but it's crazy that you just said that but keep talking because I've always been such a people pleaser that I was so preoccupied with like are don't want anyone to be mad at me I want everyone to like me how am I going to fix this situation or whatever it was never like oh I'm mad at someone else for doing this to me but now that I'm an adult and I'm like okay people can think what they want about me like I'm going to be the best person that I can and then what more can I do um the the anger emotion has started to pop up sometimes and I don't know how to process it and so that came to mind when you when you asked me that question of like how do you keep a pulse on things like keep in tune with your feelings I'm still figuring out that one of like okay I need to leave the room for a second and come back take some deep breaths like I don't know honestly I haven't figured out a good way to do hey hey but um the other things it's like okay if I'm feeling negative in some way I'll stop and think like where is this coming from and I do this with funny thoughts too have you ever you're sitting there thinking about something and you're like this is so weird that I'm thinking about this or so like random and you retrace your thoughts of like okay before this I was thinking about this before this I was thinking about and you kind of get back to the root right yeah so I've started doing that if I'm like I'm really sad right now and I can't figure out why and you know yeah and I'll be like how how did we get here you know um and that will kind of help me sometimes figure out like what's the root of the problem that I need to solve so that I can move on you know um and sometimes it's like I don't want to think about it and I'm just going to like go to bed and do that tomorrow probably not the healthiest thing I don't know but I think sometimes it's necessary to compartmentalize because sometimes you don't have the time or energy to deal with stuff like appropriately and it's like hey if I'm going to go see my friends in that in an hour maybe not the best time to work out why I was Trigg triggered from this childhood traa thing we don't have time for that one and and it's the same thing with like being a professional at work like yes you can be yourself at work but also I want to be like a strong professional woman who can like set it aside go to work be my best self do good work and then deal with it afterward when I get home yeah um so there are times and places for figuring out like how can I shut that emotion out just for a bit until I have time to like fully get through it you know so so many thoughts one I totally relate to the like being overly introspective and I've always thought that this is like you know people say your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness I think this is one for me that I put in that category because I'm like it's so easy for me to like think about what I'm thinking and know why I think what I think but to let someone else in on that thought process is like the most difficult thing so I'm like I think it's good to be introspective obviously right like that's kind of part of the thing that I'm doing here so I relate but also I think it's a really great thing to be introspective and more people should if they don't do that naturally carve out time to do that so I think that's wonderful that you do that um I also think it's so interesting when you said that anger is kind of a new emotion for you I was talking to someone about that the other day and I was like I don't think I actually felt angry I'm I just turned 24 oh my goodness I'm sorry I'm all over the place now um just turned 24 I don't think I felt angry until I was like 21 mhm like I really don't think I did and someone was like you never felt angry and I'm like it's not that things didn't frustrate me or that I wasn't like upset by things but it just made me sad or I would just feel like well why wasn't I good enough to keep someone from doing that to me right like that was always where my brain would go and it was actually in an acting class that unlocked it for me for the first time which is like talk about being cliche that is like so like acting class unlocked my emotions but I have this one acting coach who um I went to since I was really little and she knows me so well as one of the most influential people in my life and I was working on a monologue with her and it was an angry monologue where I had to get angry and she was just pushing my buttons like purposefully trying to make me angry cuz she could see that I wasn't really going there and I just like blew up and I got so mad and she was like have you ever felt that before and I was like hang on you make an interesting point I feel seen yeah yeah I'm like I'm really pissed at you but know that that is a good thing right now because I should be more familiar with that emotion so totally relate to that and what to do with something when it's new it's almost like when you move to a new house and it's like you just don't know where to put certain things yet right and it's like well this is just going to sit on the table for a little bit I guess cuz I don't I don't know where it goes right now like that's totally how I feel with anger still and like working through like where to put the different people pieces of it and how to break it down so all that to say I thought that that was something that like I never talked about that with anyone so crazy that you said that I've been thinking about that a lot recently um but also how as women especially being able to tap into anger in a healthy way I think is so important because obviously you don't want to like be an angry person but I think it's so easy for women to get in the Trap of well you can't be mad you can't be pissed like you have to be like put together all the time and I totally fall victim to that um well and I'm sure all people struggle with that too it's not unique to just women but um you also mentioned how like going into work you want to be this like strong professional woman and I think there is at least I feel this don't let me put words in your mouth by any means but um like if I'm in a meeting and I realize that I am the only woman in this meeting I'll be like oh well now I feel the weight of woman women kind on my shoulders to be like yes I'm young and I'm a woman but I'm good at what I do and I'm going to show up and be present and like prove myself in this weird way that it's like well why do I even feel like I need to do that um but yeah all that to say I totally relate to that feeling and I do think that there's this interesting balance between like it's a professional workplace like you do have to be professional you don't get to show up and just be like angry or crazy right but also wanting to be true to yourself and not ignore like who you are that day um so as someone who has a hybrid job you go in sometimes to the office you stay home sometimes and you've moved up if we can edit this out if you want to but you've moved up in your company extremely quickly you've been extremely successful in that is not for lack of talent capability hard work like all of the amazing things right that you absolutely deserve um what is that like trying to balance wanting to show up authentically as yourself with also wanting to be the best version of Hannah and like the pressure of having to be the best version of yourself with also not wanting to be fake or not be real right so I kind of approach it from the mindset of like I'm not really thinking about what level I am in my career in any room that I'm in right so like I may be one level above someone else that's the same age of as me and we're on a call that doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to like Take the Lead every time because like they're capable and I want them to have the opportunity as well I love so I kind of just think about each conversation of like like what do I need to contribute to this conversation and like what can I do to make this a success versus like oh I'm going to try to like be the best one in here and like knock it out of the park you know um because there's not room for everyone to do that you know like we wouldn't get anything done um ABS well and wow that is just such a genius perspective on that because it's like you're not at your job to prove anything to anyone you're at your job to do a job to be successful at it and what is the most effective way to do that and it is about Community still right like how do we best get the work out of all of the people around us it's allowing space for everyone to step up but also you doing that that's just I love that yeah yeah and I mean sometimes for sure I missed that Mark um you know me I like to talk so I'm sure there are times where it's like kind of shut up and let someone else talk you know um but yeah that's one thing I also think it's an interesting position to be like I'm a woman I'm young like I got promoted a little bit early not like anything crazy but sometimes I do think about like wow I am the youngest one in this room by far especially being a consultant I mean you're walking into a company that you have no familiarity with um you know you're meeting a whole new team of people and kind of like trying to build relationships and I mean the best way to do that is just be genuine and authentic and like you're coming to the table with I'm trying to help you with whatever problem it is that you're trying to solve I'm not here to like make your life miserable or to you know try to smoo you or anything like I'm here doing my job and trying to help um but sometimes that can be uncomfortable of like I have been in a situation where I am the only woman on a call with a bunch of people like men my dad's age and I always think about like okay these are just people they're not out to get me they're not out to like prove me wrong on anything it's like we're having a conversation and we're trying to get to the same like winning Point yeah well and even if for some reason randomly there is someone who is out to get you it's like thinking that that's where they're coming from or harboring on that isn't going to do anything but make you you second guess yourself and be nervous right like assuming that everyone has your best interest at heart and that everyone's shared goal is to be successful as a team like you're going to do your best work that way right yeah yeah and one thing um you you made me think of when you said that was like you kind of have to come to terms with the fact that like you don't have to be an ice queen right to be professional like yes I need to be professional and like come to the table with ideas and perspectives and whatever but I don't have to be like closed off and hide all of my emotions if anything I think it's like there's something humanizing about it when people show up to a call and it's not all business it's like hey how was your weekend like yeah you know how was that baseball game you went to or whatever something random and actually connect on a a human um note yeah well and I'm sure also with the work you do being in change management one I think that it is an interesting Dynamic to when you go into a new place and it's like I actually do have the expertise in this area you know it's like you kind of have that in your pocket that is I don't know it's just cool to have that right but also um knowing that like people changing jobs and companies changing the whole reason why change management exists is because companies deal with people and people are human and they're fallible and so you have these systems in place to help them like deal with this change so being able to embrace that I would think would make you even more effective and like powerful and capable in your job um and I think we're actually seeing as a whole in terms of like Corporate America and um even just in daily life this move towards a more casual might not be the right word but like casual approach to things that of course there's still absolutely a place for professionalism but I think that's allowing more people to show up humanly and imperfectly absolutely I think on the flip side of that not to be negative but I think in some ways our corporate world has gone a little too far in that direction where you know people don't put in as much much effort as they should sometimes and it's like oh it'll be okay like I'm having balance um and they they use that word a little too like fluidly um and so I I think there's like uh there's a balance to it for

sure pun intended um so yeah I mean everything in moderation right yeah absolutely well and I think that so many of these like good things can be used for a lot of bad yeah like one thing that I've also been thinking about a lot is like how um the whole self-care movement and like um destigmatizing mental health and therapy like of course like prioritizing yourself your health your Wellness like I don't know anyone who thinks that that's a bad idea however so much of that language in verbage is now being weaponized to like make people feel bad about certain things or like this arm armchair diagnosis of like oh well they're a sociopath because they XYZ and they're gaslighting me it's like those are real quick out of our mouths today and it's like but those are weighty and they mean a lot and even though I think increasing education about those things is so important and it's great that so many more people even know about those things it's also like that does not mean that every single person you come across is has something that needs to be diagnosed or fixed um and also that doesn't mean that like you're a bad person if you forgot to take care of yourself this week that means you're human and you'll get them next time right it's like I think there's also a lot of Shame around like oh well you are on the grind 100% well you're not taking care of yourself it's like again it goes back to the balance and these things that are supposed to be advocating for taking care of who we are as humans and loving each other well being used to hurt each other I'm like you're missing the point my friend yeah like this is supposed to be helping each other and if you're using it in a negative way it's like anything can be weaponized unfortunately and I mean so you're talking about like if you're too busy you're not taking care of yourself if you're taking care of yourself too much then you're not doing enough out like I like to think there's there's balance why saying that it's a great word um yes so it's almost like every day is a little bit of a mess but in a beautiful way you know like I I used to try to be that person that's like I'm going to work out at 5:30 every morning and I'm going to cook dinner at 7 and like have this whole routine that's hilarious yeah I mean you saw my background the I am not sticking to that every single day that is just not happening I mean the reality is there's days where I have to start working at 6 o' to get done what I need to get done you know and then like you figure it out later on of like how do you catch up and do the things that you wanted to do some days you don't get to like that's life um so it's that's kind of the fun of it though is I think I would be bored if every day was the same like you've got to have a little bit of an aspect of like whoo something surprising happened today like maybe not in a good way but we're going to work with it I think like obviously habits and rituals and schedule like work better for some people than others and I am someone who does really well on a tight schedule but at the same time if I let my schedule like control and dictate my life like there was this period of time um it was my freshman year of college and it was before I transferred to TCU and I I don't know if you know this I spent my first semester out of Community College transfer to TCU because whole long story not relevant right now but I was still living at home and just commuting to a community college and like all of my friends were off the freshman year doing the whole first year of college thing already and I was like I have nothing but my schedule and being productive so here's what I'm going to do and I totally did that and I was so rigid with it and I'm like I lost like 30 lbs super unhealthily I was sleeping not at all and spending so much time like alone that was like well but I have my schedule that I just let it rule my life in this or rule my life in a really unhealthy way and there were some days that I was like I love being on autopilot and just being able to follow my schedule but then I was like why do I like being on autopilot like I shouldn't be craving that feeling I should also be craving like excitement yeah but it I mean it also depends what fills you up true you know like some people get a lot of energy from being around other people and some people need like alone time or some people need more structure than others um so I think it kind of and I feel like that changes throughout your life because I can totally relate to that like um and I know my mom's going to listen to this and she's going to laugh um but when I was a kid I was like okay I'm waking up at the same time every day I'm going to have my outfits picked out for every day on Sunday night I'm going to make my lunch before bed you know like everything had a plan and I still do that of you know I'm going to make my coffee get it ready before bed every night and have it ready when I go in the morning and like there's a plan for every minute of my day um but I think as I've gotten older I've had to get comfortable with we talked about pivoting earlier like where can I flip things a little bit so that I still get those things done but then you don't have to say no like my friend wants to go spontaneously get dinner I'm not going to say no like there's going to be a day where I'm going to have kids and I can't go right um you know so it's kind of like do the things you want to do now while you can yeah there's absolutely that and then I think there's also absolutely like if you need to say no that's also okay and you can reschedule right I think all of these things right it goes back to you or word of the like last 10 minutes balance and how like both rest and productivity and schedule and flexibility like all of these things are so important in moderation and I think you're so spoton on saying like it's so different for every person um and I think that's part of why introspection is so important to know what's going to work best for you what's going to fill you up um where on those busy days is it okay to cut corners and where can you just absolutely not like you have to do this to make sure that you're feeling okay um but also I think another thing that I haven't thought about a lot that is so true is that it's different at different points of your life just because you had it figured out in high school doesn't mean you haven't figured out for college does mean you have it figured out for young professional life right um yeah and being able to continually re-evaluate and reassess where you are who you are who you want to be and like make those changes is so I think power empowering right cuz it's saying I have the power to craft the life I want cuz you do yeah that and you can kind of like craft it after people that you admire yeah do you ever think about that like you kind of pick people and you're like M I want I want to do this like that person when I'm older but like not this thing you know and you can kind of pick and choose 100% try to make a masterpiece sometimes a yes it doesn't work out but no I love that there's um there's this book that I read forever ago that was about famous writers and how they all like their writing routine and they're all so different and I forget who it was but so many writers that are like in the like Western Canon as being like the best writers of all time which I have opinions and thoughts on that too but different conversation but so many of them were like I need to get drunk or high or something before I start writing um you know the old saying like write drunk edit sober as such a thing um but then you have other writers who are like or they and they pull all nits and then there's other writers who are like I am up at 4:30 I work out and then I write for 4 hours and then and thinking of these people that I'm like I want to be like them and write amazing works like them how do I do all of these different things and emulate these different things but also how do I blend right and then also knowing that like there's so many like philosophers that I admire that I'm like but they went crazy uhhuh it's like however I I also want to like I look up to their work and their body of work so it's like how do I meld this thing that you did while dropping off some of the more unhealthy behaviors too so I totally hear that and one thing that you said about like taking these different pieces and making a masterpiece of it I love that visual um van go has a quote uh that's live life like it's your greatest work of art and I love that cuz it's like I want to live artfully like I want to be able to look back on this life I've created and be like I'm not proud of maybe every single decision I've made but I'm proud of like the colors that I Incorporated and the textures that like changed things up and that I did try all these different things out right it's like in that being a part of it and I heard something on a podcast the other day that I wrote down because I loved it because it's so much like this but it was talking about creating your own Bible MH um of like people and things that of course if you are of the Christian tradition or judeo-christian path like not in an idolatry way if that doesn't work for you but of people and things that you can um look up to to like go back to the same way like you know you go to Sunday school and you read a verse to remind yourself of this teaching from Jesus right okay well if that's not your jam let's go open up our old favorite book and remind ourselves why this was inspiring to us and I think that that can be incorporated across the board in any religion that you're a part of right but even like a recipe book if you want to look at it that way like yeah I love what am I feeling today yeah it's a little recipe book that is beautiful okay last two questions because I don't want to take up any more of your very generous time um one in light of the conversation anything you want to clarify add in throw out there anything that you're like this has nothing to do with anything but I just want to put it on the mic um not really to be no that's perfect my mind's not going anywhere so I'm like you know trust it yeah I love it we're going with it I do think sometimes people feel pressured to answer that question I'm like no you don't have to say anything it's just I know for me sometimes I'm like yes no no frogs um but I'm like uh I'm like I don't want to interrupt but I have something I need to say so I never want someone to leave feeling like that so that's perfect um even though I will be editing out the ghost STS I mean it is iron skillet week I wouldn't blame you oh my gosh it is isn't it yeah wow hey Texas college football for you y um last question what is one word to describe how you're feeling right now can I pick two because this is off brand for me but I'm not feeling like following the rules on this one H honestly I would normally say no mhm but for you yes oh I'm honored um encouraged and motivated I feel like I don't say a lot of my thoughts out loud A lot of times because I don't know how to formulate them but this is a really productive conversation um and I'm thinking of a lot of things that are always in the back of of my head but aren't necessarily on the Forefront every day and so I'm like okay where can I actually make sure that I'm doing all of these things this week um because I I kind of like pick things each day but I'm not good about like molding them all together sure um so I feel motivated on one hand to like where am I going to incorporate all of the things that I talked about um but then just like encouraged because you always have good energy and I enjoy our conversations um but also there's just like so many beautiful parts of life that we talked about uh and we have a lot to be thankful for so true well thank you so much for being so generous with your time with your spirit with your energy with me and with your friendship I so loved this conversation and I'm so thankful that I get to share it with people so thank you thanks for having me absolutely