Exploring Childhood Memories and Influential People: An Interview of Host, Reese Brown

I am interviewed by the lovely Sophie Alford Sophie is a friend of the podcast and past guest and she asks me about some childhood memories and experiences and just fun questions that really open up the gate into a little bit more about me as the host of making meaning and I think this is a really fun way to kick start the season so without further Ado here is the first episode of season two let's all take a deep breath

started well hello welcome to my podcast thank you so much for having me all right well I'm excited to flip the script and kind of give you a little bit of a chance to talk about yourself let your audience know more about you and I'm excited to ask all the questions this time I am so excited too when you first through this suggestion out I was like is this gonna be weird like completely flipping it but the more I thought about it the more I was like no Sophie's so right like it is a good idea to like talk about myself and my approach to things so I'm really excited for doing it and I'm grateful that you're doing it me too I'm excited as well so I just want to start off we're going to do some personal questions cool a little bit more deeper questions and then we're gonna do some more Whimsical funny questions love you know there's no right or wrong answer with these okay let's just have fun I love it okay so let's start what is one of your favorite childhood memories oh okay one of my favorite childhood memories I don't want to like overthink it so I'm just gonna go with the first one that popped into my head um every single time me and my brother would go over to my grandma Darlene's house actually who's in this lovely frame behind us um she would always have bought some sort of toy for us which my parents put a stop to pretty quickly because they were like you need to stop your spoiling them but of course um she had her house was a two bedroom and so she had the master and then the other bedroom was just the toy room and there was like a guest bed there too and so every time we went over there would always be a new toy in the toy room so me and my brother would like run back to the toy room to find what was on the bed and then like bring it out and get to play with it that day with Grandma Darlene and I just remember like the excitement of like it being Christmas morning going over to my grandma's house every time yes because I was in toys

part of it was like even once like the toy stopped and we got older and all the things I feel like it was still very much this like she always made her home a place where we could be really Carefree and she always wanted to encourage us to like have fun like it was just always a place for Joy oh um that's nice yeah so I just have such a vivid memory of like running back and finding like a new Barbie doll on her back bed and just being so excited as a little kid I love that I love that yeah okay so now what's a funny story that your family would tell about you my family tells me this is a very telling question it's true there's definitely some that I'm like that my parents tell that I'm like oh my God you cannot tell anybody that please stop telling that story um

you know okay this is actually the one because I think this is pretty funny too my it's like my dad's favorite story about me so in second grade no it was third grade it was third grade because I just switched schools but um my dad would drive me to school from third through fifth grade because me and my brother were going to different schools at the time and so my mom would drive my brother and my school was on my way to my dad's work and so it just made sense for him to drop me off on his way and so like very normal third grader Reese would listen to audiobooks with her dad on the way to school and it would just be whatever book he was listening to so we read like Stephen Hawking's The Theory of Everything and like Plato's Republic and like random stuff and then we would talk about it so I really really loved doing that but because my dad used to work in finance at this job that he was at at the time was in finance he would also talk to me about like Finance stuff that was going on at his job so basically Reese was a boss girl when she my dad always says that I ruined my potential because I should have been a bond Trader and I'm like can you imagine me trading bonds no um but the funny part of this is that because he like talked to us about money and finances all the time um and we read some book that like had this story in it where like some really big CEO was arrested for insider trading and I was like what is that like obviously third grade Rhys didn't know so my dad explained it to me well like a week later in school we were talking about crime Injustice in third grade I guess which is like weird to think about I don't even know what unit we were in and they were having us all like raise our hands and say what are different um laws like that you break and of course kids are like murder so stealing lying and I raised my hand and said insider trading my teacher was like yes yeah I guess so I guess that's a crime and I guess I was talking to my parents about my day and they were like you're kidding that's what you said and I was like yeah it was the only crime that I could think of that no one had said yet oh my gosh I love that Rhys that's such a re-story too okay so next question tell me about the three most influential people in your life and how they have impacted you hmm okay question okay do I split Mom and Dad up or do I put Mom and Dad as one nope gotta split them okay then I have to do my mom and my dad but maybe I'll give you a bonus answer okay okay um just because I'm like I genuinely am so close with both of my parents and they both have taught me such different things I'm like different and similar things but there's no way I could answer this question without including both of them um

I would say my dad is one of the most influential people because more than anybody he is the person who has always instilled in me the confidence that you can do whatever you set your mind to and that that has been encouraged and awarded and applauded in my family um and he also really supports like taking risks which I think is something that not a lot of people hear from their parents is like we want you to take smart educated risks they're I think most parents are like no like we want you to be safe and be provided for it but he's always been like no like Life's Too Short don't live small um which has really informed a lot of the way I live my life um do you have any examples of that I mean I think the biggest one that comes to mind is like instead of getting a nine to five job like freelancing on the side while working on my company like it it has been a huge risk because you know no company makes money in the first two years and even then it's like profit you barely Break Even after that right so you're playing the long game here exactly it's definitely a long game which I know is a risk especially as a young person but to me it's always felt like one worth taking um but even like doing acting when I was younger and not being afraid to like audition for things and be told no time and time again I'm like true it's okay put myself out there worse that's gonna happen is they do say no yeah um if you don't ask you don't get exactly um so I just feel like even though I'm not a very um

like I wouldn't say I am a huge like I wouldn't call myself a risky person but I think when it comes to really big life decisions I have a tendency to

make a choice that maybe other people wouldn't yeah I just being your friend and yeah you know living with you and seeing your daily life I would also agree with that but I've also witnessed you like you do the things that you take risks on are things that you are very passionate about and you feel very strongly about and I think that that's the only foundation that you need in order to take that risk the thing that's my that's my observation feels good to hear you say that I'm like that makes you feel good

moving on

um okay second person is my mom um I feel like I've gotten a lot of like my intellectual side but also my like Goofy Goober side from my dad but my mom is where I feel like my embracing my gut and embracing my instinct and my intuition and seeing sensitivity as a strength has come from um my mom is a trained counselor and so obviously like being in therapy for as long as I have been I've been in therapy since I was 12 years old and still am um was really informed by her and that completely changed the course of My Life um and I think that my mom is always someone who whereas my dad is pushing this big picture like we want you to take risks my mom is pushing this okay now how do we apply it kind of thing and is the one who's like take risks try different things on enroll in acting do soccer do volleyball take voice lessons Take cooking classes play piano learn how to play guitar like there are so many things that I like did for a year didn't like it so I stopped you know but you tried it exactly and that was always what my my mom always wanted to like open the doors for curiosity I like that yeah and um also is someone who like I feel like everyone kind of has this with their mom but just knows things about you that you could never even know about yourself um and so without that support definitely would not be where I am today I think that's a great like combo right there and that you get both sides and it kind of helps level you out in those perspectives yeah I think because my dad can be very like big picture whereas my mom is very much like okay now how do we make it happen um at least in terms of like following your dreams right right um but there's still very much on the same page in encouraging that yeah yeah my mom's name is Paige

but yeah in they never disagreed on we want our kids to live lives of passion purpose yeah yeah I'm really grateful for it I love that yeah you're third person third person

this is kind of hard because I have two but I I think give us both of them okay if I had to pick one I think I would go with my therapist okay um and I don't want to name drop her just because um I I don't know I haven't asked her if I could name drop her and so I don't want to very close to that thank you um but like I said I've been in therapy since I was 13 and I have seen my therapist once a week every single week of my life from 13 or 12 years old until now so almost 12 years of my life which is more than half um and I don't know how that could not be impactful right but also not only has she given me wisdom that I'm just so grateful for she knows me better than anyone else in this world and to have a relationship with someone where I can walk into that room sit on the couch and say the things that I am the most ashamed of the most guilty of the things that I think make me irredeemably unlovable and then have this person look at me and say no you're still good you are still loving you are still worthy of love has just been like everyone needs that person in their life um and I think that I would be in a much darker place if I didn't have someone who met all of my insecurity with love compassion and like the emotional equivalent of a warm hug right um and then the other person who I guess is honorable mention but has just been so important in my life is my first acting coach Catherine Hart don't you have a tattoo I do yes um I have a tattoo of the first thing she said to me on the first day or not the first thing she said to me the last thing she said to me on the first day we met which is when you look at the world you see poetry I have it tattooed on my ribs right here for those that are watching um can confirm yes Sophie has seen my tattoo um but talk about someone who saw something in me that I didn't even see in myself at that time um and really encouraged me to hone that and see the beauty and creativity um and she is a very Miss heart is extremely um intelligent and compassionate and creative and um

very uh intuitive as well and so I think a lot of my like mystical side that I have I get from her in like having trust and faith in the universe which is like weird to say about an acting teacher but she just taught me how to like love life right um so yeah those those are my other two okay I like that okay so that's kind of a good sideway because one of my other questions I had was what are some of the mantras that you live by and why are they important to you and I feel like kind of what your theater teacher said to use yeah it's like something to think about but what are other ones that you live by absolutely I love this question because I am such like a quotes person um so absolutely like things that people have said to me like when you look at the world you see poetry obviously I tattooed it on my body for a reason I want a daily reminder of that funny because you texted us a poem last night so true I did text troubomb last night because I'm that friend we love it though um but other quotes there's one um

one of there's like so it's like an affirmation I saw on Pinterest but to this day I think about it and whenever I get like overwhelmed or anxious it's what I think about and it's um I release fear and gain trust in the process of life um because sometimes I can be very fearful and very anxious and so reminding myself that even if horrible bad things happen like I can trust in the process that this is going to teach me something this is like life the universe is taking me in this direction for a reason um and that's just a comforting one for me it may not be for everyone but it is for me and then another one which to me the first time and it's my favorite thing what other people think about you is none of your business and that's facts it's facts but everyone wants to know exactly that is just not the way it is but it's so hard to remind myself I'm like I want to know what everybody thinks about me is anyone mad at me like I need to know but truthfully it's one of my best even you like my best friend like you get to have any opinion about me in any way that you want and that's the beauty of like complex Human Relationships is that I know there's things I do that annoy you but also there's that's true for everyone exactly exactly but also there's things that we love about each other too you know it's like that's relationships

100 um we love that we love it so those are my like mantras I say yeah I like that I like that one thing my I just want to add this because I love this quote but when I was starting High School my aunt gave me a card and I opened it and all it had my own okay I can bleep out her name if you'd like oh it's fine okay um she's my homie and Hannah was the homie no she's cool but she wrote on there it was literally just one of those blank cards and she just wrote in Quotes no one can make you feel inferior without your own consent and that's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt such a good one and I've kept that with me since then and she reminded me again of it going into college and I just I just love that quote because it's true like you have to be your own Advocate and be confident in yourself well and I feel like it's such a good reminder too of like when you do start to feel bad for me it's a good reminder of like I have the power to stop feeling bad I am actually giving the thing that's making me feel bad hour right now true yeah yes so that's I'm glad you brought it it's like changing your mindset sort of yeah yeah yeah yeah okay I love those all right next question if you could be remembered for one thing what would it be

um you know it's a big question yeah I mean right now in like a more um surface level way I would say like what I'm trying to do with the cohere collective right like I would love for this to become a stamp that I can leave on the world or not even a stamp to leave on the world because I don't really want to like necessarily make something that's immovable or unchangeable but almost like a Blackboard that I could leave for the world to play with or like a Sandbox that I could leave for the world to play with is more like what I'd like to do um but in a like deeper not so like surface way um I really want to help people

find confidence in knowing that they can should and are worthy of living the life of their dreams with purpose and fulfillment and that I want to be someone who even if cohere and making meeting crashes and burns I want people just that I meet in my life to leave interactions with me feeling more empowered and more confident and feel like I can let people be the best versions of themselves around me um but that's Cohere’s mission is trying to find ways to let people know that whatever that kind of like purpose-filled life looks like for you and you can pull that from anywhere or anything based on whatever your value and ethical system is but that the world will be better because you're living with purpose and fulfillment and I think that that means more people will be happy I think that means the world will be more peaceful um and I hope that that makes a world a better place so if I could be remembered for something it would be that I let people be the best their best selves yeah yeah well you're already doing that so keep it up if I think about that too much I'm gonna cry so I have to laugh about it shut down shut it down shut it down okay well I kind of feel like you may have answered this question already but I still want to ask it in case you have things to add on to it so where do you hope to be in 10 years from now yes it definitely does piggyback off of what I just said but I think there is a bit more in the sense that like obviously I would love this company that's currently just me to grow into like a full team um of people that are making content and educational resources for people to wherever they are on their making meeting Journey um further that right if you're at the very beginning and you've never thought about what a purpose living Driven Life looks like um that's okay we have something for you or if you've been like on a spiritual journey for years and then you're stumbling into cohere it's like great let's help take you one step deeper um so I would love for it to really become a fully fleshed out system professionally um in it to be cohere to be something that maybe I help like guide and obviously I set the mission statement for but I don't want to be the only person like behind the reins yeah I want it to be created by and cultivated by the community that believes in it too yeah a collective like group of people exactly and that's why we're the cohere collective 100 so I'm like in 10 years I would like to see it just be a successful version of that running on its own hopefully not having to freelance anymore um and I think I would like to be like in wherever I want to live for the rest of my life at that point I'm still since I'm still pretty young I'm thinking a lot about like traveling and moving and living in different places right now but I think in 10 years like finding some things that provide a little bit of stability would probably be good too and um obviously being close to my parents at that point um but yeah I think that it's hard for me too to separate like where I want to be personally and professionally because cohere and the cohere collective is so personal for me that I'm like yes it is a professional goal but that is also like my main personal goal and financially I just like to be that scared

you know what I mean third grade Rhys is looking at you right now and being like where are your bonds yeah

trading man no you're right I'm like I I have a few I have a few oh my gosh well I have no doubt that you'll be there oh thank you you're just a train that keeps on moving thank you that's great okay so now we're getting into the fun questions I love fun questions I just like to ask this one question because I feel like it gives insight about it yeah I love that so what does your morning routine look like whoo um you know it changes a little every day but I do think that there's a couple things in it that stay consistent but one thing that I'm really doing right now is like

not trying to force myself into doing something that doesn't feel good but also knowing that you kind of have to push yourself into doing things that you know is good for you that you know are good for you too and like the balance between those two things and my morning and night routines are definitely like reflective of trying to strike that balance um so right now um I'm the thing that I am really like not pushing myself to do is waking up at the same time which is crazy but I'm lucky enough to be able to set my own schedule and sleep is something I'm really going after but when I do so important very important um so when I do wake up um I always Journal before I get out of bed um I jot down you know if I had any wacky dreams or like ideas in the night um I always have a journal by my bed um and so I'll do just like random thoughts and then I always write down three things that I'm grateful for um just because I mean science proves that that helps you have a better perspective and Outlook of the day right and I really do feel better after doing that um and then the next kind of piece of the routine is how am I feeling do I want to go make a tea before I start my day do I need to go to the bathroom do I want to do my like skincare and brush my teeth or do I want to do a little bit of yoga and all of those things will be done at some point but it's kind of like okay what order feels the best today um so usually what I'll end up doing is like a little bit of yoga in my PJs like a couple sun salutations just like get the blood flowing um go make a tea to get my digestion flowing I do the I mean you know you see me morning the apple cider vinegar and lemon because it's good for metabolism and digestion um like I should probably start doing that yeah and honestly when I first started doing it I was like this is nasty but now I'm like I'm used to it it's kind of good yeah so I think because I was gonna say you really don't need to start doing it but if you wanted to I'll just say it does get better um and then I'll do that um do a little bit of yoga and not enough to like really sweat just enough to move yeah um and then I do my bathroom routine um I'm very big on skin care as you know as well um and that's a really it's become a really big part of like my self-care practice too is like oh this is 20 minutes in the morning that I don't feel guilty about taking to just pamper and take care of myself yeah I mean look at you your Skin's glowing thank you um but I go to you for all my skincare questions and I love it besides like philosophy and making meaning I'm like [Laughter]

Sophie if we did we would have to collaborate on the SPF like yeah because the SPF one thing about Sophie Alford she is always wearing sunscreen which everyone should be if you're not wearing sunscreen right now go put on sunscreen protect the skin also my grandpa was a dermatologist so so there you go he kind of you know told me to do it

you know no big deal okay one thing I thought of when you said that you do like your gratuit or gratuity oh gratitude gratitude gratuity um one thing about that is I started I used to not do that and I started at night time and in the morning whenever like whatever jewelry I'm putting on or taking off doesn't matter how many Bangles I'm wearing or earrings or whatever I have to say one thing that I'm grateful for I love that and I feel like it's made a big difference it is something that I look forward to at night time because sometimes you have those bad days and it's something that brings you back to ground and you're like you know I'm doing okay like I've got a lot of things that I'm yeah that I'm grateful for Even If today was kind of a [ __ ] show I have a heart that's beating lungs that are breathing yep a roof over my head of food all that like there is always something that you can look at that you're grateful for or even like if you're not feeling super confident like say something that you love about yourself yeah I love my freckles on my nose or something a little like uh yeah I feel like it makes a difference you do that every morning I also like that you tie it to jewelry because that's something that a lot of people but most women more specifically um of course men wear jewelry too but um a lot of people that's a huge part of their routine and normally you just do it without thinking or you're just thinking about your jewelry but it's like it's not taking any more time out of your day it's not costing you anything to just with each piece you put on a little gratitude a little self-love that's wonderful so I love that um okay next question I kind of like this one if you could have coffee with any historical figure who would you choose and then the real question is what would you drink what's your order okay okay okay okay um I do like this question they can be alive or dead yeah that's fine okay so or even like I'm gonna say a book character too if you really want it oh oh gosh okay so part of me is like if it's a book character I'm gonna bring like my fictional Crush to life and get married right like obviously [Laughter] um like sorry Annabeth me and Percy are getting married yes no I could never do that in Atlantis yes yeah no I could never do that to perspeth but ton

um

you know

I think it would be this is such a hard question for me because I don't have any like historical figure that I am just like absolutely obsessed with like is an icon for me um but there's a lot of people that I'm like I really like their work and what they did and what they stood for so there's like that part but then I'm also like what about the people who could answer like a really big mystery I'm like I'd be kind of interested in that so part of me is like

Maybe

Elizabeth Schuyler yes and be like who for those of you who don't know which I'm sure most do um was Hamilton's wife um and he famous famously um cheated on her and she outlived him and there's a bunch of stuff there very interesting if you haven't seen Hamilton go watch Hamilton on Disney plus um but I think I would want to ask her like one all of the work she did for women was amazing right and I would love to talk with her about it and kids didn't she start a an orphanage yes one of the I think it's the first orphanage in either New York or America or something like that um which is amazing um her and her older sister Angelica um started the I think it's the convention at Seneca Falls is what it was called which was one of the very first feminist conventions for women's suffrage and also she was publicly shamed for being cheated on like during this time when women did not have power or control at all also why would you shame her like that just doesn't make sense but that's a side conversation we love the paper

um but yes um so I think I would want to ask her like what was that like how did that feel um what kept you going what kept you going yeah like I would want to hide from you know because she did all those other things right like well in the fourth image that she opened she knows that you feel in fear without your own consent um and she opened it in Hamilton's name even though she has all of this difficulty so I think that that's one of those things that I'm like I think she's a good intersection of answering a mystery and also um

being like a figure that I really do look up to the other one that always comes to mind which this is like really sad and kind of morbid but um is like for unsolved murder cases like I would love to like ask someone like who murdered you that way we can like lock them up who did it which is scary but I'm like oh man if I had the power to bring someone back to life like it might it if I really did I feel like that would be a good use of that power right yeah I don't know what I would drink though oh yes would 100 depend on the person because I would want to impress them with my order oh so what would you order with this Miss Skyler I'd probably do something like like a lavender latte what if she doesn't like lavender gosh I got through a lavender away yeah I gotta do

order before I bring them back yes um no I think my go-to coffee order if there is something lavender on the menu I am going to do lavender and that feels very Eliza to me um but if it was like some president of past like I might do a black coffee just to like match The Vibes you know just to match the Vibes or just see what they order first and then you follow suit try their coffee order you know what that's a much better answer I'm whoever I bring back I'm trying their coffee order I like

[Laughter]

oh shoot oh shoot any fact any fact random um

oh gosh um okay I'm drinking green tea right now I think this is true but green tea actually has much more caffeine in it than coffee does I'm fact checking that please backtrack meat but I'm pretty sure that's true and most people drink green tea because they're like oh it's less caffeine in the afternoon but I think it actually gives you more caffeine okay well this one says coffee contains significantly more caffeine than green tea but see I heard that too though green maybe it's an old wives myth one eight ounce cup of green tea typically contains 30 to 50 milligrams of caffeine whereas coffee contains around 80 to 100 milligrams of caffeine per eight ounce cup well you know what but you know this is just what Google says so I could be not reading those accurately you let us know listeners yeah in the comments um which has more caffeine we are not caffeine scientists actually I'll share a fact that I know for a fact is true and it's about caffeine okay um one Kyle Hall taught me this but it's that um caffeine actually does not make you feel more awake it simply Blocks Your tiredness whatever sectors yes um I actually learned that too so yeah yeah and so when that's why so many people crash after having so much caffeine is because well once the caffeine's out of your system all of the tiredness that you are essentially just pushing out floods back in which is interesting I also I was listening to a podcast actually about coffee and caffeine but they also talked about how coffee or caffeine it's good for you to have a little bit I mean depending on like of course everyone has different Health right right sometimes people can't have caffeine but I guess if for the average person if your health is okay having caffeine in the correct amount of dose for you is actually beneficial for you and it's got a lot of good health benefits the problem is when you have too much too much what the like average healthy dose would be like one cup of coffee a day or would it be like half a cup of coffee a day I don't know okay I know for myself I can only have one cup because then I'll get really jittery and start feeling like nauseous so for me personally I know one cup will do the trick for me and I'll be so interesting well and what a good lesson on like knowing your body knowing yourself everything you should know themselves that's true okay what was your favorite trip that you've ever taken this is an easy one it was my most recent trip um I was fortunate enough to take a trip to Italy with my parents and I just absolutely fell in love with Italy the main cities we went to were Venice Florence Rome and um Sorrento and every single city has its own character and culture and the thing that I loved the most about it was because of course the old saying is that Italy shaped like a boot it's kind of a peninsula into the um Mediterranean Sea she said question mark because she's not good at geography um but it's a big Port City because all of these cities on the side have is it okay I got it right well it's not the yes basically cool um but they all got oh it is but there's also the pteranian seed to its anyways we're not geography Majors but that's okay we're not caffeine scientists or geography major we're just chat I love it um but the thing that I loved the most about learning about Italy's history was that because it's every single city was a major port um that so many different cultures religions languages went in and out of the city that it truly is a Melting Pot of so many different things and you see a lot of like Arabic and um Asian and other Eastern like influenced architecture and food um that you wouldn't think of when you think of Italy but it's like oh that is there um and one of our tour guides and I loved this because people call America the big Melting Pot right well in recent times they've started calling America or North America not North America United States of America um a mixed salad because it's a bunch of different ingredients but they're not actually homogenized yeah it's like they're there's interesting way to describe that right I like that there's like pockets of people who still retain their unique culture but we all exist together but that Italy truly is a Melting Pot in the sense that it was all of these cultures that merged and melted into one new thing okay um which I just found fascinating um and everyone was so nice which I'm like I just love nice people and don't we all don't we all um and you know you always hear as um Americans going to Europe they're like oh well Europe's Europe's oh my gosh European countries and people um tend to not like Americans which I'm like understandable um so you always kind of prepared to be a little on guard and like you know you're in a different place you want to be respectful right um but everyone was so welcoming so kind taught me Italian like just so welcoming wanted to hear all about us like while we were asking about them so it was just wonderful and fabulous that's good that's good good I loved hearing about your trip okay so what is your favorite holiday movie and why holiday movie So when you say holiday movie do you mean like a winter holiday movie or do you mean any movie associated with any holiday because I could go with that we'll go with that I'm really tempted to say Groundhog Day but I actually have never seen it so okay you've never seen it no then no that's not your answer I think that that would be a very funny answer yes yes but I'm like I need to watch a movie I think

hmm you know I'm gonna have to go with the Polar Express which I know you don't like I know and honestly I just can't even remember the movie but I just remember when I was a child I for whatever reason did not have a good impression of them it's kind of creepy and so I need to re-watch it so that I have a valid opinion but I just you know your opinion's still valid but I would love to rewatch it with you I feel like it's time because it's time I I'm not a child anymore

all right cool um but this is for me this is really a nostalgic answer because me and my brother are um siblings who fight quite a bit and I just have so many fond memories this was the movie we would watch every year and it was like when the Polar Express is on nothing bad can happen and it was like the thing that we would always watch together yeah it's the Polar Express truth um and even now we watch it even though neither of us live at home anymore we watch it during Christmas with our whole family and it's a great tradition too yeah it's just a nice tradition and the music is so silly and fun and the animation is terrifying and and Tom Hanks plays like 20 characters does he really technically it's only like three or four but isn't that wild yeah that is wild that is wild um so yeah it's for nostalgic reasons I can see that okay follow-up question with that yes what type of hot cocoa do you prefer to drink with it because you know there's different there is different kinds okay if I am doing like we're making hot cocoa and we're going in I like to do the boil milk on the stove get the Hershey's cocoa powder that's not sweet that's just like the cocoa powder and then add in sugar and my dad like normal sugar yes okay um and so you like boil it on the stove all together and it'll kind of thicken up because when you boil milk It'll like thicken a little bit um and you can't burn it can't burn it then it gets gross red flag yeah um and my dad pours Amaretto in it which is that almond liqueur

okay all right so that is only adults above 21 are allowed to imbibe but if you are above 21 highly recommend putting Amaretto in

oh and alrighty so then next question what's your favorite personality and strength test and why because I know this is your jam This Is My Jam I think almost similarly to astrology and Tarot even though people think about them so differently from personality tests to me all of these things are like different tools that provide Frameworks for investigating the self and learning more about you who you are how you approach the world um how you're feeling and doing right now and so I just always find that fascinating to learn more about myself but also to talk to other people about how they test right because I feel like it gives you a lot of insight that maybe typically someone wouldn't offer up you know I am really a feeler you ask them they're Myers-Briggs you can learn that about them um personality test I'm gonna have to go Enneagram I'm a big Enneagram girly um of course it got really really popular like two-ish years ago um kind of during covered I learned about it from you for the first time that was my first time learning about it um and I think that was like right at the beginning of like it's huge like launch into like the Zeitgeist um but the thing that I love the most about the Enneagram is that it's rooted in childhood trauma study which sounds really crazy but um for those of you who aren't familiar with Enneagram it's a nine number system for nine different personalities um and these nine numbers are grouped into the head heart and gut sector so there's three numbers for example right yes and then also each number is connected to other numbers for where you go in your strength and where you go in your stress um and so that's where the wheel comes in yeah yeah so it's all kind of interconnected but your main number um when you take the test is trying to identify what was kind of your deepest childhood hurt or trauma and your number is typically how you counteract that so for an example I'm a 2 which is the helper um and my main like hurt not that my family was hurtful or abusive at all but everyone has something that's traumatic from their childhood it growing up means growth and growth going through those kinds which means pain right um and so my main thing was this like deep fear of being unlovable and so that expresses as always wanting to help and give back right and so that's how the personality test kind of comes about and I just love hearing about other people's numbers because there's something so deeply personal about that that even if you're not up front talking about hey this is the worst thing that ever happened to me in my childhood and then you talk like you don't have to talk about that in order to learn a lot about someone and why they are the way they are with the language of the Enneagram yeah yeah so I think that's why I really love it recent aren't actually that's true we're both doing one um so the one again though see I don't even remember one is the perfectionist oh yeah yeah um so also in the Enneagram there's Wings which is whichever number that's right next to yours that is your second highest so you could be two in one or two Wing three but we're both two England yeah and because on the wheel those are the numbers that are next to it yes so like if you're a nine you're next to a one and an eight exactly so you could never be like a nine Wing three like even if three is your second highest number that wouldn't be your wing yeah yeah okay and then

what would it be about whoo so this is interesting because

my thesis that I wrote for my Master's Degree I do want to expand into a book and I'm hoping to um make my future research about expanding that book however I feel like that's a cop-out answer because I am kind of like in the process of writing it um because like I have the thesis which is the rough outline so I'm like it's it's in process if I was gonna start a new book tomorrow I think I would want to do a collection of poems okay um just because I have like probably hundreds of poems sitting on my laptop that are just like there but I don't know if I would ever do anything with it um you should but if you have them why not right I'm like that could be kind of cool and like to go back and revisit those and maybe put them together chronologically or with some other like overarching theme I don't know I think there's something cool in there that I could maybe play around with I like it okay and now what's your favorite color and what does that say about you now you know that this is gonna be weird

so my favorite color is gray

which anytime I tell people that they're like there's no way that's your favorite color and I'm like you are one of the few people I've ever heard say that yeah it's it's kind of strange but there is just something about gray that is comforting to me um I love wearing gray like I actually own a lot of gray clothes which is kind of strange but you also have some colorful clothes too I do I do love wearing color um but I think also for like a more philosophical reason I really like what it represents because I've spent so much of my life um dealing in the black and white and trying to categorize things into and easily understandable system um but that ignores complexity and nuance and isn't fair to the people around me to the experiences that I have I just don't think that's being a very gracious friend or family member um when I approach the world that way I don't think it makes me the best version of myself and so the more that I surround myself with gray tones I think it what it says about me is that I'm really trying hard to be someone that honors the nuance and complexity of life oh I like I see I didn't even know that I love that it's really I mean you just took that to another level man okay all right so our last silly question was what animal do you feel connected with and why okay I gotta go owl owls have long been my faves I went you know every kid has like an animal phase and they wear one animal exclusively mine was owls um and it a hundred percent now that I'm thinking about it was because of Annabeth in the Percy Jackson books of course obviously that's where that came from um but I think now reflecting on it I really love that they're like a bird that also isn't very bird-like yes like when I think of an owl I don't really like you don't associate them with birds right Bird I think like oh Crow or a pigeon or something like a blue jay or yeah like yes I understand what you mean yeah and so I'm like that's kind of interesting that like yes they're a bird but like they don't feel like a bird and like me being misunderstood just gonna get out I'm getting another joke um but I I also think that owls represent stoicism and um like intellectualism which I think I I just have always found fascinating like there's a reason why I went to school longer than I needed to um and I'm a very logical person as well but I think also there's something about thinking of an animal as a logical being instead of just an instinctual being that's really cool to me um because that's us too right like we are the marriage of logic and Instinct human beings are um so yeah I feel connected to owls kind of because of that but also they're funny little dudes who can spin their head around and their noise is really silly and um if you draw one with a cartoon you can put glasses on them and that's real cute sounds like you have experience with that cool well okay the closing question that I have I actually am getting this shout out to NPR uh yeah I they do this a lot yeah I like what they do so I love taking inspiration yeah I love this question and I think it's a good thing to ask people um from different you know life yeah Brands and stuff so what's one piece of advice you have been given that you would like to pass on um that I have been given you know what's interesting because I really do love advice questions and like hearing other people answer it but now that I'm on the receiving end of it it's interesting to think about how like no one has really ever sat me down and been like here is my advice for you like any advice you get just kind of happens along the way um and is like like even talking about my parents earlier I feel like any advice I got from them was kind of over the length of them like repeatedly showing me and telling me different things that all like added up to a piece of advice um so I don't know if I can pinpoint like one exact moment that someone just said something and I was like whoa that changed everything for me um

it could be something simple too yeah you know what is actually coming to mind and I don't know if this perfectly fits the question so tell me if this if you don't accept my answer I could think of something else too um but another one of my great role models who would be on the list if it was like a list of five or ten people who greatly influenced me from the earlier questions yes um his name is Del Shores he makes wonderful media you should absolutely check out his movie um Southern Baptist sissies it's wonderful um and he's also a playwright but he would host acting workshops a bunch of the influential people in my life are through acting just because I spent so much of my childhood and growth in that environment and the very first Workshop I had with him at the end of the second day it was a two-day workshop he asked everyone do you feel like a star and all of us were kind of like no we're a bunch of nobodies that are acting Workshop like we don't feel like a star and he was like you need to fix that you are already a star your job is to convince other people you should never have to convince yourself you should not be in this industry if you do not believe that you are a star and even though of course he was like talking about acting and I don't think that it's your job to necessarily convince other people of your worth like your worth is innate however I do think that to kind of draw the heart of that to real life if you don't feel like you're a star right now I believe you should and he made every single one of us stand up in the front of the like little room that we were doing the workshop in probably in some like Sheraton Hotel like conference room um and had everyone else clap for us for an entire minute and like give everyone a standing ovation he said if you do not feel like a star here is your star moment he said everyone deserves to have a star moment and to feel like a star you are already a star that's whoa I did not see this one coming and I love that I'm glad yeah because like it's not like advice it's more like instructions but it just like totally changed the way that I like saw my own self-worth because I'm like no I'm fighting and grinding to be like better than I am now so that one day I can be good enough but his whole point was you're already good enough yeah it's up to chance now oh my gosh in because it's like you want like I'm the type of person that I thrive off of words of affirmations because then I know that I'm doing a good job right but I mean to his point if I'm this is my interpretation like you don't need necessarily the affirmations because you need to believe it yourself and just show it to other people yeah and that's like I love I mean that's just changing your whole framework and mind yeah as well and I love that that's a really cool exercise to me I mean like it's just changing your framework again and like reshifting how you view yourself because it's you ultimately who needs to feel like a star because you are one right and you I mean it's almost like the manifesting stuff like if you manifest and you feel that you are who you who you want to be and who and like you're going to achieve that like that's all you really need like the self-fulfilling prophecy of yeah because clearly nobody's gonna help you if you don't already if you're not gonna help yourself and if you don't put that you have to put yourself forward first that that that absolutely well like you said earlier like asking you shall receive I'm not a huge I don't consider myself a Christian and I'm not necessarily one to like quote Bible verses but this is one that I think about a lot um but the quote or the verse is literally like the door will never open if you do not knock and I was just like yeah whoa but it's like to go back to your point it's like if you don't believe it in yourself why would anyone else true or it's like why am I gonna give you the role if you can't show me that you can do it like yeah you know or whatever

listen to your podcast or order florals from you or be your friend if if you don't think you're wonderful

I I think what you show people about yourself they will believe yeah you know wow I've Loved this conversation race too um as someone who interviews other people I know that it is not easy and I really appreciate your preparation and dedication to doing this it really means a lot to me as a friend but also as a podcaster that you took the time and effort to do this so thank you and you did a very wonderful job I don't know I mean I'm not a professional interviewer but I think he did a really good job thanks and I was nervous at first but I had fun good it's just us it's just us it just does there's no camera they're still like yeah but also um oh what was I gonna say there was something else in my head that I wanted to say to you about interviewing oh this is it of course people love talking about themselves so I really enjoyed this conversation because I just got to talk about it however deeper than that I really enjoyed this conversation because it also made me think and your questions are really thoughtful so thank you for that as well I really do appreciate it yeah of course always here to support you love you love love you too